The | Orville

“No,” Ed whispered.

Bortus looked at the bottle, then at the desperate faces around him. “You are asking me to weaponize… Pepto-Abysmal?”

“It is the only logical choice,” Isaac stated. The Orville

Captain Ed Mercer stared at the viewscreen on the bridge of the USS Orville . A shimmering, iridescent cloud the size of Jupiter was currently digesting a small moon. Science scans indicated it was a rogue, non-corporeal lifeform with the cognitive capacity of a mildly ambitious goldfish.

Before Ed could suggest the universal translator equivalent of offering it a napkin, Lieutenant Commander Bortus spoke from his station. “Captain. I have detected a small Union science vessel inside the cloud. It appears to be… half-digested.” “No,” Ed whispered

Ed sighed. He looked at Kelly. “Remind me why I took this job?”

And then, the cloud spat them out.

Ed couldn’t argue with that. He leaned back in his chair. “Helm, set a course for the nearest bar. I need a drink that doesn’t taste like a war crime.”