Leo screamed. He tried to close the tab, but the screen now only showed a terms of service agreement written in blood: Section 7, Paragraph 3: 'Piracy summons plot holes that bite back.'
The tablet didn't chime. It hissed.
The room shuddered. The statue cracked. The tablet rebooted with a gentle ding , and Leo found himself back in his bedroom, covered in pixelated snake bites, his Amazon account now permanently locked. Download Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secret...
Just as the basilisk began reading his browser history out loud in Parseltongue ("Search: 'Can you fail out of Hogwarts?'... Search: 'How to fake a dragonpox note'..."), Jamal's voice echoed through the stone chamber. "Dude, I bought the audiobook on Libro.fm. You okay in there?" Leo screamed