Body: Brekel

I did not tell her that I had stopped breathing in my sleep three times last month. I did not tell her that my heart now skipped every fourth beat, not every tenth. I did not tell her that I had begun to smell like bandages and rain.

The second brekel body I saw was my own. brekel body

It was not a monster. That was the horror of it. A brekel body is not a thing that lunges or gnashes or drips ichor from a dozen fanged mouths. It is a body that has been interrupted—shattered along invisible fault lines, then reassembled by hands that understood the shape of a human but not the reason for it. I did not tell her that I had

She cried then. I had never seen my grandmother cry. The tears slid down the deep gullies of her face and dripped onto our joined hands. I felt them land on my cold left hand—and for one impossible moment, I felt warmth. Real warmth. As if the tears were filling some gap in my brekel body, some place where the wiring had come loose and the signal had been lost. The second brekel body I saw was my own

Then came the dreams. Every night, I dreamed of the moment the hoof struck. But in the dream, I did not die. Instead, I watched from above as my grandmother lifted my heart out of my chest, held it in her palm, and turned it over like an apple looking for bruises. And in the dream, my heart had seams. Stitches. A zipper of scars where she had opened it to clean out the ruin inside.

I learned later that my heart had stopped for eleven minutes. She had restarted it with a copper coil and a curse she would never teach me, no matter how many times I asked. She rebuilt my sternum from wire and bone shards. She rewove the ventricles of my heart like a woman darning a sock. She pulled my liver back into one piece with sutures so fine they dissolved into my blood over the next year.